He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
