I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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