is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize