yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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