It's Friday. Sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
