Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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