Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
