the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Your penis caused this!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize