I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
