East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
