this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize