she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
