I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
