I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am available for nakedness
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
