i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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