If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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