super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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