I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
