I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize