your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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