im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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