We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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