all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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