WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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