Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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