whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
