Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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