The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
