he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
