it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
