So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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