I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
