yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
