Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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