you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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