This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
