I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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