There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
