i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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