he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize