And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
