I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is it penis luge time yet?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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