it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
