I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You are a genius and a whore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
