ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just made my gag reflex go away.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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