Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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