Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
