If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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