as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
