i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
