Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
