where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
