may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
