a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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