Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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