I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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