At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
false alarm. still invincible.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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