I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
