you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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