With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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