you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
