I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize