Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
