Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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