I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize