...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Randomize
