his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No subtext here. People are naked.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
