I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
only if we run a train.
done.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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