drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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