she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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