Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
