If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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