wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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