She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
