found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
