You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
