so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
