hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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