Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
